The Wild Ride of Raising Five Kids in Six Years

Welcome to the chaotic, hilarious, and occasionally sanity-questioning world of being a mother to five children born within six years. As a mom of five—Micaela (15), Giorgia (14), Cruz (13), Rio (10), and Cairo (9)—I wear many hats: cook, cleaner, ATM, Uber driver, entertainer, counsellor, tooth fairy, and many others.

It was a whirlwind of diapers, food-throwing tantrums, hilarious, silly moments, and daily doses of unpredictability. Now, we've moved into a new season of TikTok, managing the heightened pressures and demands of children in the 21st century, rap music, being an Uber driver, and an ATM to three teenagers and two little guys growing up faster than I'd like, the funny moments remain. Again, I'm dealing with uncertainty, learning every day, being taught by young kids without the same amount of conditioning my mind has had, and seeing their incredible wisdom and souls shining through when I choose to listen (and close my mouth). And like when they were little, the hilarious deep belly laughter moments are still there waiting to be found… like treasure, and I love a good treasure hunt.

Welcome to my wild, wonderful, and often wacky world!  Let’s take a trip through a typical Monday morning in our household, where laughter and chaos go hand in hand.

The day kicks off at 4 a.m. while I quickly scan my business meetings and mentally prepare myself for the juggle ahead: build the shopping list, make lunch boxes, put out meat for dinner, put in the first load of washing (of an average three a day), and reply to the late messages received when I had passed out with my two boys Rio (10) and Cairo (9) the night before. Yes, this means addressing 40 school and sports WhatsApp groups and the new party groups set up for the following weekend. Also, any clients needing urgent assistance, friends and family needing support, and updates on the 16 horses I work with.

Let's not forget coffee first… but often, amidst all the above, I fail to even get to the kettle. I boil it at least three times before actually pouring and adding milk, but this is my personality in a cup, and it's a necessity, especially on a Monday morning.

5:30 a.m

Waking the kids up. It's winter at the moment, and if it’s a Monday, it comes with its unique challenges of getting children out of the warm snuggles of their beds. If I need to (and sorry, neighbours), I blare music in between the dippy eggs boiling on the stove, the washing machine making some slightly concerning sounds (just don’t break because I cannot deal with that today), and a baby in the far-off distance screaming blue murder (it's not mine… it’s okay).

These days, I hear "Mommy," and I turn around and automatically say, “Yes, I'm here,” which looks very funny when you're in the middle of the supermarket and have forgotten to change your pink bunny slippers after the school run. After having five kids in six years, it's just autopilot for me because it’s already a well-tuned neural pathway that keeps replaying over and over. It does create laughter, though, and that’s the point, right… always to choose laughter.

• Mom, the dippy eggs aren’t dippy. Can you please make pancakes?

• I don’t want dippy eggs; please, can I have a cheese omelette?

• I'm not hungry; why did you make me dippy eggs?

• I don’t feel like breakfast. Can you make me a snack for the bus to boarding school?

• Mom, where is my slip for my Sugar Bay outing? (What Sugar Bay outing? I’ve missed a message or email.)

• Mom, I need money for the book thing… that traveling book show (Huh, can the book thing please not travel here today)

• Mom, I need money because I promised to buy my friend a treat because he helped me last week. (I love kindness, but a heads-up would be so appreciated)

• Mom, where is my cell phone charger? (No, I do not have multiple eyes situated on the back of my head, and on the contrary, always finding your ‘’lost’’ items is not my superpower.)

• Momeeeeee I’m not feeling well. Didn’t you hear me coughing last night? I don’t want to go to school. (No, you are absolutely fine. You were running around like an ant on steroids, playing soccer in the dark at 7 p.m. last night with the neighbourhood kids.)

• Mom, I forgot to tell you that I need a lift back from boarding school today because I am talking at Umhlali for Grade 6’s selecting high schools (Oh my word, boarding school is a 45-minute drive away… if I had to choose one superpower, it is going to be time travel, and second, the ability to clone myself, but then I’ll get FOMO… let's stick with time travel.)

• Mom, you made bacon and cheese wraps… It stinks, and I don’t eat animals anymore. (But you loved that Argentinian steak we made last night…)

• Mom, my tummy is sore. Please rub it gently, not fast and hard. (I have all the time on a Monday morning to do this x 5 humans.)

• Mom, I need a new school bag… look, it's broken, and please sew the button back on my blazer. I’m going to get into trouble. (don’t lose the button… this is not a now job)

It's 6 a.m.

Herding the cattle into the car, grabbing my red on-the-go coffee mug as if my life depended on it, we headed off for the school run.

These days, I use these moments when I’ve got all five ‘trapped in a car and moving forward to pray together and iron out any wobblies that have arisen as they prepare to face the day ahead. I use the power of the car all day, often to have one-on-one time with each child in between all the sports lifts and drama practices. It’s usually our place to do homework reading as well… on the go is how we roll… not by choice, but if the opportunity arises, I grab it with both hands. Some of the most profound conversations are had in these “car moments,” where my children become teachers and students.

So, girls on the bus to weekly boarding at Durban Girls' College, with enough bags to fill a small caravan, and the three boys arrive at Umhlali Preparatory School to start their day with sports.

It's 6:30 a.m

Yes, I have dropped off my children in PJ’s. I don’t care, but there is a more significant reason. The kids that don’t want to go to school for whatever reason cannot handle a mom getting out of her car in her PJs and pink fluffy bunny slippers to walk them to the gate or classroom. "You are so embarrassing, Mom." Indeed, have a lovely day, my darling, beautiful child… choose fun and kindness… see you at pick-up. The bunny slippers seem to have their power.

Back home.

With the kids safely delivered to their respective schools, I turn my attention to the battlefield: our living room. Socks, toys, and the occasional unidentifiable object litter the floor. I channel my inner Marie Kondo and start tidying up, though it feels more like shovelling snow in a blizzard. I could write a whole article on the treasures I usually find, including the cell phone charger.

Showered, yoga session done, diaphragmatic breathing (which I swear by and my kids use), I focus on the next few hours of life coaching and building excellent programs for corporates, intertwining my knowledge of the horses into the leadership modalities. I love what I do, and every day, I am grateful for the joy it brings me to see people and companies transformed and living from a base of high performance, but peace, calm, and fulfilment infused with laughter. It feeds my soul… sometimes I joke that I should be paying them because their transformation always teaches me something.

Instead of the days being filled with diapers, expressing milk, breastfeeding, finding educational games to play in the garden, liquidizing veggies and freezing them in ice trays, attending cute school plays, and having playdates, the days are focused on my meaningful calling to guide others and help them understand how their minds work as well as being able to guide them to use the wisdom they innately possess. I do the same thing for my children and block off time to be emotionally present for them. It’s a juggle and a balance, but it is possible and does work when you get into what I call the flow state.

It has been a ride, and it will continue to be a glorious ride.

I have learned in recent years that being and doing “stuff” for your kids are miles and miles apart, and I've settled now on focusing on the BEING, with less desire to make them happy or expect anything in return. I am being joyful, my usual quirky, adventure-seeking, Energizer Bunny self, and if that means we sometimes throw a Christmas in July party and make pink and orange Christmas cake cookies, or I design sacred spaces of rest (yes, I turn off the WiFi) for my ever-busy, pressure-filled teens, then that’s what I do.

Enjoy every moment of this journey. For it is living in the present, free of the past and future, the essence of being rather than doing, and tapping into innate wisdom that will allow you to have the greatest impact on your children's lives and their children's lives.

Moms out there, those who have to juggle so many others' needs and demands… those who show up every day even when exhausted, I see you. I celebrate you every single day… I pray some of MY insight will point you back to YOURS so you too can experience the inside-out way of living..the one filled with the peace, joy, and purpose you seek.