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Parenting from Within: Breaking Free from Societal Expectations

  • Writer: Jax Mendes
    Jax Mendes
  • Nov 13, 2024
  • 3 min read

In a world filled with parenting advice, social media influencers, and well-meaning relatives, it can be all too easy for parents to feel overwhelmed by societal expectations. The pressure to conform can lead to a parenting style that prioritizes discipline over connection, creating a fear-based approach where love feels conditional and compliance is valued over genuine emotional support. It’s time to break free from these societal rules and embrace a more intuitive, heart-centered approach to parenting.





The Weight of Societal Expectations


From the moment you announce your pregnancy, the advice begins. Friends, family, and even strangers feel compelled to share their opinions on everything from sleep training to nutrition. While some of this guidance can be helpful, much of it is rooted in societal norms that may not align with your values or your child’s unique needs. This pressure can lead parents to prioritize discipline over connection. The fear of being judged for “spoiling” a child or not adhering to strict behavioural standards can create an environment where love is conditional.

Parents may find themselves enforcing rules out of fear rather than fostering an atmosphere of trust and understanding.


The Consequences of Fear-Based Parenting


When parenting is driven by fear, it can have detrimental effects on both children and parents. Children may feel they need to earn love through compliance, leading to anxiety and low self-esteem. They might become adept at masking their true feelings to avoid punishment or disapproval. For parents, this approach can lead to burnout and frustration.


Constantly striving to meet external expectations can make it difficult to connect with your child on a deeper level. Instead of nurturing a relationship built on trust and unconditional love, parents may find themselves caught in a cycle of discipline that leaves little room for emotional connection.


Trusting Your Inner Wisdom


So how do we break free from these societal constraints? The answer lies in trusting your inner wisdom. Each parent has an innate understanding of what their child needs—an instinct that often gets drowned out by the noise of societal expectations.


  1. Listen to Your Heart: Tune into your feelings about parenting decisions. If something doesn’t feel right, question it. Your intuition is a powerful guide that can help you navigate the complexities of raising children.

  2. Prioritize Connection Over Compliance: Focus on building a strong emotional bond with your child rather than enforcing strict rules. Engage in open conversations, practice active listening, and validate their feelings. This connection will foster trust and security.

  3. Embrace Flexibility: Parenting is not one-size-fits-all. Be willing to adapt your approach based on your child’s unique personality and needs. What works for one child may not work for another, and that’s perfectly okay.

  4. Create a Safe Space: Encourage your child to express themselves without fear of judgment or punishment. When children know they can be honest about their feelings, they are more likely to develop emotional intelligence and resilience.

  5. Seek Support from Like-Minded Parents: Surround yourself with a community that shares your values and beliefs about parenting. This support network can provide encouragement and validation as you navigate the challenges of raising children outside societal norms.


Embracing Authenticity in Parenting


Ultimately, parenting should be about authenticity—embracing who you are as a parent and who your child is as an individual. By breaking free from societal expectations and parenting from your inner wisdom, you create an environment where love is unconditional, connection is prioritized, and both you and your child can thrive.

As parents, we have the power to redefine what it means to raise children in today’s world. Let’s choose connection over compliance, intuition over fear, and love over judgment. Together, we can create a new narrative around parenting—one that celebrates individuality and nurtures the unique bond between parent and child


On this journey of parenting, remember: you’ve got this! Trust yourself, trust your child, and embrace the beautiful chaos that comes with raising emotionally resilient individuals who know they are loved unconditionally.

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 Life  &  Business Coach
Women  |  Parents  |  Teens

Jax helps parents of teenagers, teens and individuals get clear, connect more deeply, and develop confidence in their power to create the lives they want. She is based in Balito, South Africa serving individuals, parents of teenagers and teens in her local community and around the world

© 2025 Coaching By Jax.

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